


deasil

by theknightofdoom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Meteorstuck, davekat - Freeform, daves birthday, mao if i think of anymore tags ill add them, meteorfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5346830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom/pseuds/theknightofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of birthdays of a broken boy</p>
            </blockquote>





	deasil

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I wanted to write something for my ultimate faves birthday. However, I can't get on my computer right now and editing this on my phone is infuritating (and terrifying. I've had to restart twice.), so, I'm posting this as it is and ill edit it (and post the rest) asap. 
> 
> This one will be finished I swear.
> 
> \---> EDITED: i finally fixed this mess. i hope its a bit easier to read now. i plan to write the next installment for daves next brithday. there'll be at least three parts updated annually following the meteor birthdays, but considering that we finally have some post-canon content for me to go off, i might continue this indefinitely.

His first birthday on the meteor was one spent alone. He'd, quietly, told Rose beforehand that he didn't want anything. He wanted to be in solitude. He didn't want anyone to disturb him.

There was, of course, a reason for this. For Dave, birthdays were not what they were for most humans; Dave never had cake. Never big presents in crisp wrapping paper, nor cards filled with cheesy rhymes and sincere declarations of parental affection. Instead, birthdays were days where if he was lucky may find food in the cupboard that isn't Cool Ranch Doritos or aging ramen; days where Bro happened to take Lil' Cal out with him somewhere, leaving Dave feeling like a small weight had been lifted off of his shoulders; days where the electricity and hot water didn't run out out of the random. Days where he got to have the little things.

Dave knew better than to expect these little things to always be the case, though. Bro had taught him that food, electricity, hot water and not feeling like a creepy ass puppet was looking into your soul were things that one earned. These things wouldn't just happen because it was your birthday; that's the way life is. Dave learned that sometimes life is cruel. Dave learned that sometimes, birthdays were cruel.

Some birthdays got spent on the roof, air still warm and humid despite the oncoming Christmas season. He would fight his brother until his muscles ached and he could taste coppery bile on his tongue, and even then he had to fight still. 

Some birthdays he found the apartment filled with traps of puppets and swords and cruel, biting notes. It was easier to just not leave his room. 

Some birthdays he didn't have that choice. His door was locked from the outside until midnight struck; until a birthday girl halfway across the country would wake up to a pony and a loving mother. Drunken, yes, but loving nonetheless.

He had always been jealous. When his friends asked him how his birthday had went... he lied. He couldn't tell his friends what his birthdays were like. His friends who had guardians who loved them. His friends who complained endlessly about an abundance of cakes or expensive gifts or well-intended overprotective orders. 

They wouldn't understand even if he had wanted to tell them. This was the first birthday away from home Dave had ever had. He wasn't sure how he felt. It was getting increasingly hard to miss his Bro. At first, when he was fresh from Earth and still convinced of his bother's greatness, I was easy to overlook everything. To miss him. But each passing day, days which were spent with people who seemed to care about him (each in their own, unique way) and spent contemplating on his past was another day that made it harder to pretend that the way he lived was normal. Was okay.

He felt like he should hate Bro. Maybe he did. The worst part was that he still missed him either way.

Dave knew his brother was fucked up. The way he treated him had been fucked up, and it had fucked him up too. He knew that more than anyone. But that adoration he had felt, the idolization he had had for Bro, it was hard to completely stop that. He didn't want to. It was all he had ever known. It made it worse.

The birthday was simply a reminder that, yes, Dave was a worthless sack of shit. But his brother was a piece of shit, too. A piece of shit that, despite everything, he still missed, just a little.

So he sat in his room alone all day. He didn't power on his computer in case anyone tried to pester him and he didn't once crack open the door. Every shadow he saw move out of the corner of his eye, every noise he thought he heard outside his door, every thought of his Bro... It put him on edge. He didn't fall asleep until way after midnight, a cold sweat sticking his hair to his forehead and his covers wrapped around him messily.

The next day, he acted like nothing happened. He tried not to feel jealous when Rose blew out the candles on the shittily alchemized cake and then guilty when later she shot him a worried look when she thought he wasn't looking.

He could pretend a little longer.


End file.
